This morning, I decided to go for a quick jog. By quick, I mean just for 10-15 minutes...I was certainly not referring to my pace. To the casual observer, I'm sure I look like I'm taking a casual stroll about the neighborhood. Anyway, as I was huffing and puffing into minute 12, I looked down to see a GIANT* MOLE running at me, teeth bared and beady eyes ablaze with hatred!!! I jumped into the middle of the street, narrowly avoiding contact with the evil beast. This is the second time in my life that rodents have tried to kill me, or maybe it's the third. I distinctly remember an incident at school during which a mouse charged at me and forced me up onto a desk.
Later in the day, I retrieved the mail from the mailbox, only to be greeted by what could only be a GIANT TARANTULA, or at least a black widow or a brown recluse. Luckily, my quick reflexes kicked in and I was able to slam the door shut before it pounced.
I live in the city for a reason, and that reason is to avoid creepy, scary critters. What is going on? Are these encounters some sort of sign of the apocalypse? I may have to spend more time indoors if that's the case.
*At least three inches in length!
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